It’s a common event: the phone rings and a guy asks you out on a first date. Hurray! First date!
It’s awesome, half of the battle is won, and you’re the winner. You start to prepare for your first date, and then the joy gives way to first doubts: What if he doesn’t like me, or what if he’s not as interesting as I thought? Here is my first recommendation—forget about all of your expectations. That way you will not be disappointed because you didn’t expect anything special in the first place, and you can just enjoy the date. And in the end, he may turn out to be a good friend.
So, here are a few rules about what you can talk about and what you should avoid on your first date, and how your appearance can help you to stay in a winning position.
- It’s important for a man that a woman can listen. If you listen when he’s talking, you give him confidence that he’s an important and interesting person.
- Victim Mode. Never start talking about your previous relationships on the very first date (or even later) or tell him that you’ve met only “assholes” in your life. If you do, you fail in his eyes from the get-go: if you’ve only met “assholes,” that means that either you are not good enough for a “good” guy or every guy is an “asshole” in your mind, and he doesn’t want to turn out to be just one more.
- Topics for your conversation. Religion, politics, and previous relationships are taboo. Talk about things you like, your hobbies, your personal development, and about how much you love this world. Ask about his hobbies and listen carefully.
- Talk about the respect you have toward others and that you expect toward yourself in return. Such women are very rare and they’re in men’s Red Book.
- I want to get married. Don’t tell him about your plans to get married and have seven children. He’ll panic right away. For a man that means that his territory will be conquered and filled with children, and he’ll run away from you and never know what a wonderful woman you are.
- Talk straight about your situation. Don’t be aggressive or say “a man must do this or that” (they have an allergy to this word), but instead talk about what qualities are important to you in a man. For example: ambition, the ability to act, helpfulness, success, desire to learn.
- Don’t ask him how much money he makes and where he works. Instead, ask what he likes and what his goals are.
- Clothes and makeup. For your first date, try not to use all of your ammunition. That means use minimum makeup. It should be a light, natural look. Not too low a neckline but be feminine. You didn’t come to sell yourself. Ideally, you should wear a dress of natural, soft colors and low heels.
- The place for the date. Don’t reject a good restaurant. That is his choice, and how much he is willing to spend can show how much he values you. Thank him at the beginning or at the end of the date for choosing a nice place and for his good taste. He’ll remember your compliment. If you refuse to go to an expensive place to show him that you are not interested in his money, you’ll be making a mistake.
- Compliment everything he does, but don’t overdo it. If he hands you your coat, say that you like to be taken care of. Or if he is nice to servers in a restaurant, compliment him on how well he deals with people. Those compliments will make him want to do more and more, so you can compliment him again.
If you follow these rules, then your date will be successful. You and your partner will enjoy the date and you’ll earn his admiration, which is very important for every woman.
I wish you endless love and harmony. Remember that the most important thing in any relationship is mutual respect.
In the next article, we’ll talk about recommendations for men on their first dates. What to do to stay a winner in a woman’s eyes, how to capture her heart and not get rejected.
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Translated by Anna Shegay.